Welcome to the Fred Zuzarte Memorial
Avery and his Grandpa, taken December 6th, 2003 (Avery's first birthday)
This was the last picture ever taken of Fred
This page was last updated on: Saturday, December 11, 2004 1:16:19 PM
Features
The following two videos were shot by Fred's son Jeff (Avery's father). They are all only a few seconds in length but all feature Fred in varying degrees. They have been tested under Windows XP. If you are using a different version of Windows or a different operating system, you may need to download additional software from your video card manufacturer and/or Microsoft to play the videos. The first two are in Canon AVI format while the last is in Windows Media format.
Note that if you are using a dial-up Internet connection then the download time for each video may take several minutes. If the download is interrupted, it is very likely you will need to start over from the beginning. About 30 seconds after initiating the download, your browser should be able to give you a good indication of how long it will take.
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As you can see, there are multiple links in the paragraph above. Please click on each for more info and let me know if you have any trouble with them. Clicking on a name will bring up a window so you can write to the person. Clicking a baby's name will take you to their web page. This is my way of injecting sparks of life into a death notice!
Introduction
I am still not sure what structure to use for this page. To begin with,
I will just lay things out chronologically. I will try my best to leave
personal feelings aside and just report what happened. In the meantime,
please e-mail me your feedback and I will post your messages on this site.
Other family members can be reached using my Contacts Page and by MSN Messenger. For obvious reasons, do not send mail to FredZuz@aol.com or FredZuzarte@hotmail.com.
This latter address is only being used so Shirley can log into Messenger.
IMPORTANT MESSAGES: In lieu of sending flowers, the family would very much appreciate if you instead made a donation to the Heart and Stroke Foundation. My father benefited from this cause and paid his debt by tirelessly campaigning for them. Accept our heartfelt gratitude in advance.
I would also like to take this opportunity to make you aware of an Internet
hoax which several people have sent out over the years. I respect the fact
that these people meant well but everyone must understand the potential
danger of following unsubstantiated medical information received from the
Internet. This particular hoax is in the form of an e-mail which advises
people to cough vigorously when experiencing a heart attack. The reasons
why this information is false are explained here.
Friday December 12th, 2003
My mother has repeated this story many times so I will now
recount for those of you who have not had this benefit. Early in the day, my
sister-in-law Paddy had come over to our parents' place to drop off her
one-year-old son, Avery. Dad spent the whole time laughing and playing with him
as they usually do. Both were in the best of spirits and enjoyed each other's
company immensely as they have done so many times over the past year. Poor
Avery was battling a cold but Dad had been in the best of health.
The afternoon wore on until it became time to get ready for Mom's office
Christmas party at the Marriot downtown. In the early evening, they took the
subway to the hotel and had a few cocktails while waiting for dinner. They had
been standing for some time while chatting with fellow guests and were becoming
tired. Mom looked over at Dad and noticed his fists were clenched on the chairs
in front of him. She suggested they sit down to which he agreed.
After a few minutes, she looked at him again. His gaze was downcast to his
hands on his lap. He did not respond when she asked him if anything was wrong.
She lifted his head to loosen his collar and noticed that he was not breathing.
Mom then remembered that they had seen Diane Nixon earlier in the evening. Believe
it or not, this was the woman who was in charge of Dad's rehab after his triple
bypass operation in 1992!
She was summoned immediately and wasted no time in having someone call
911. She began CPR on Dad who looked to be responding as evidenced by the
rise and fall of his chest. Another woman began helping by compressing
Dad's chest. A third woman from an adjoining office party (for the College
of Nurses of Ontario, no less!) arrived to console Mom. She insisted that
Mom look at her and not Dad. Mom was confident everything would be all
right based on the perceived success of the CPR and accordingly urged all
her office mates to carry on into the dining hall for dinner. They staunchly
refused and were resolute in remaining for moral support.
A defibrillator was sent for which alarmed all assembled. By the time the
paramedics arrived, Dad had no vital signs. They then sped to St. Michael's
Hospital which was also in the downtown core. My brother Jeff arrived with his
family some time later. Avery stretched his arms out and touched the hand of his "sleeping" Dha-Dha-Ji.
Pronouncement had been made some time between 7:00 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. There
was absolutely no warning because he appeared in excellent health leading
up to and including the day itself. It was all over in a couple of minutes
and he did not suffer much. We are grateful to the good Lord for His mercy.
Fred was only 66 years old but he lived every one of those years to the
fullest.
Aftermath
At around 8:00 p.m., the phone rang. I don't normally get calls at this
time of the day because most of the telemarketers have gone home. Upon
answering and hearing my mother say hello, I could sense something was
wrong because she paused before continuing. She then gave me the awful
news and expressed concern that my grandmother was at our family home by
herself. Because the rest of my siblings were en route to the hospital
downtown, I volunteered to maintain a vigil at the family home to keep
my grandmother company.
Wasting no time, I grabbed a pair of track pants and my toothbrush. I then ran out to the streets and hopped on a bus. All the while, "Please God, let this be a mistake." was my mantra. Upon reaching home, I broke the news to my grandmother
who had lost her husband as well in 1992 at the incredible age of 97. My
brother then called and charged me with the duty of informing our sisters.
One of these lives in England so I had to wake up her and her spouse. They
will be coming to Toronto to get married in June, 2004. The other two sisters
went downtown to lend moral support.
All evening I fielded calls from concerned family and friends wishing to
express their condolences. The rest of the family finally managed to make
it home shortly after 11:00 p.m.. We commiserated over the three hours
that followed before calling it a night. I stayed overnight to console
my mother and grandmother while everyone else went home after the long,
hard day.
Saturday December 13th, 2003
We spent most of the day making and receiving calls from concerned family
and friends. I informed a couple of the neighbors and made a few calls
to some of Dad's friends. We were all still in shock over the previous
day's events so little significant work was done. Fortunately, Jeff had
the presence of mind to retrieve essential documents like Dad's will and
insurance details which he and Mom went over. Our sincere gratitude goes
out to all who lent support and brought food. Not surprisingly, nobody
felt like cooking so these were extremely thoughtful gestures.
Here is the announcement e-mail I sent out shortly before turning in:
"My Dear Family and Friends,
It is with deep sorrow that I write to you now. As a loving son as well as the foremost information technology expert in our family, the sad duty of announcing Fred's passing falls to me. Many of you have already heard the news so my apologies if this is the first time you are discovering this tragedy. Rest assured we have banded together and are lending our strength to each other.
Over the coming days, I will be assembling a memorial website which will be linked to my main page found at "<http://members.rogers.com/the-zuzarte-strand/>". Please look for it at the top of my "Features" section. Its purpose will be to anecdotally chronicle the extraordinary life of my father as well as disseminate details regarding the funeral arrangements. This site will be updated regularly over the coming week and beyond so please visit it once every couple of days. You are welcome to reply to this e-mail or even call us but chances are that any questions you may have will be answered by the website. Of course, this is a very trying time for my family so your adherence to this request is very much appreciated.
Naturally, every Zuzarte family member has agreed to open their homes to
those coming from out of town to pay their respects. Note that personal
friends of mine included in the above distribution list have been included
for informational purposes only and are NOT obligated to participate in
any of these observances. Nevertheless, your prayers and condolences both
given and forthcoming are likewise appreciated.
Merry Christmas and all the best in 2004 to all of you."
Sunday
We had planned to start the day by attending the 9:00 a.m. Mass at our church. The rest of the family was able to do this but a miscommunication with my sister in regards to picking me up caused me to miss the service. By the time I realized what had happened, it was too late to call a cab. In any case, a formidable blizzard was raging that morning and I assumed that nobody would be traveling anywhere. I used the time to update the site and grab a few more hours of sleep.
I ended up going to the 7:00 p.m. service instead after which I was driven back to our parents' place by Jeff. That evening, we discussed the things that needed to be done in the week ahead. We decided that Dad would most likely have opted for cremation had we discussed the matter with him before hand.
I had intended to go back home but thought better of it upon learning our parish priest would be coming over early the next day to speak with us.
Monday
The pastor of our parish, a Father Fleming, came over in the morning to discuss the details of funeral home selection and mass. Upon arriving, he was startled when my mother answered the door. Because Dad was fairly active in the parish, he knew who she was but was not expecting to see her. This is because a mixup in the church's administration let him to believe he was visiting a family named D'Souza. His ability to switch gears and bring focus to our family's plight was most commendable.
After explaining the general sequence of events that would take place during the upcoming weekend, he led us in the praying of a decade of the rosary. In the afternoon, Gillian, Wayne and Jeff visited a couple of funeral facilities and made a decision.
Tuesday
I spent part of the morning updating the website with more condolence notes and stories before sending out the following e-mail to a wide array of family and friends:
"Hello everyone,
As you can well imagine, the Zuzarte clan is extremely busy this week so this is likely the last time I will be able to write to you. The reason I am writing is to make sure you know that the funeral details have been posted at the top of the memorial site. By now, I am sure you have all discovered that this is located at <http://members.rogers.com/the-zuzarte-strand/FredZuzarteMemorial>.
I am also writing to once again personally thank all of you for calling
and writing. You have been a great comfort to us all. However, we would
like to make a further request at this time. Kindly stop calling our mother
to ask things like " What happened? " and " Where can I
find the e-mail address for family member X? ". These and other questions
are completely covered by the website which now has over 250 hits as of
this writing. Thank-you for visiting it! I would be happy to field any
questions you may have regarding any of the material on the web site. The
answers will likely be posted on the site itself rather than by a personal
response.
I am sure you can understand that Mom gets quite upset when recounting
the story. I know this is part of the healing process and that some things
are not meant to be communicated electronically. However, in our opinion
her only concern at this point is to grieve and spend time playing with
her grandchildren. Yes, you read that correctly. I said grandchildren.
We received the happy news yesterday that my sister Karen, her spouse Graham
and their new baby daughter Danika will be arriving this afternoon from
the United Kingdom.
For those of you who we will not be seeing this weekend, know that you are in our thoughts. For those we will be seeing, kindly go through your photographs and bring along any featuring my dad. You may wish to write your name and phone number on the back of each just in case they get lost.
I know it is difficult, but I would also like to request that when writing you separate condolences from anecdotes. The latter will be given their own page on the site dedicated to celebrating Dad's life rather than mourning his loss. Uncle (aka Archbishop) Larry has just sent me an excellent example of how we have become better people for having known Dad. This will be the center piece for the anecdote page.
Take care and we look forward to seeing you!"
Most of the morning was spent getting the house ready for our British correspondents. There was some initial concern regarding the acquisition of a passport for the baby but this was cleared up in time for the booking of the flight. Paddy made the trip to Lester B. Pearson to pick up the family who had arrived safe and sound. I managed to make it back home in time for their arrival. Mom's spirits were noticeably brightened when they walked in the door.
Wednesday
I spent the day at my place recuperating from the stress which had been building since Friday. As a result, I am not entirely sure what went on at the old homestead. I imagine quality time was spent with Graham, Karen and Danika.
Thursday
I spent the better part of the day cleaning the house in preparation for the arrival of my aunt Audrey and her family. A significant amount of time was also spent putting the finishing touches on the slide show which I would be running at the funeral home.
Friday
This was the day set aside for viewing the remains. I got to the funeral home shortly before 2:00 p.m. where the family was found fully assembled and receiving visitors. Personally, this was the first time since December 6th that I had actually seen my father. The funeral home had done a good job of preparing his body. Many visitors took time out to say a prayer beside him.
Over the course of the two periods of visitations, we gladly received many well-wishers. All who came were most welcome despite the unhappy circumstances. We were all touched by the outpouring of love and support for the family. Many tall tales were told about dad's exploits while growing up.
Between the periods, the family went back home for a quick rest and a bite to eat from the food that was still pouring in from supporters. This was all done in haste because we needed to get back to the funeral home to receive the second round of visitors. Most of the second crowd consisted of family from Montreal and those who could not attend during the day because of work commitments.
This chronicle is continued on the Funeral Page.
Coping
This section is under construction. In a metaphysical sense, it will remain
under construction for the rest of our lives.
Sincerely,
to the main page.
